Cereal Killer Cafe, Brick Lane, London
Cereal-isly? You guys have a cereal-themed cafe? I went along, and I’m glad I did, but it certainly wasn’t killer. The Cereal Killer Cafe is a super happening spot, no doubt driven by a glow of nostalgia and a ounce of curiosity. Service was a killjoy. Overall I couldn’t warm to the novelty and I swirled my sugar bowl with disdain and confusion.
I already hated the experience when I had to queue to order my cereal. And also barked at by a staff member. The system is pretty shoddy to me. There’s super limited seating. So you have to wait to order your food and then float around in the hopes of finding a table. The staff were hip, but not friendly.
In terms of food, well, I paid over £5 for a bowl of cereal with chocolate chips. Of the standard options, these are all things you can find at your local Tesco for bargain bin prices.
The initial novelty of Cereal Killer is fine but there’s isn’t any finesse or even at it’s most basic level – some effort. It’s just a bowl of dispensed cereal and unnecessary confectionery and the bowl isn’t even a pretty bowl. It suffers from the same problem as the cereal it dispenses: artificial, sugary and unhealthy. This is more of a dessert treat than a balanced way to start your morning.
I was happy to have a taste of Reese Puffs. These are a great North American treat, and I bought back a box of these from Canada later in the year.
There is a pro. The fixtures at Cereal Killer are nice enough to look with makeshift seating from children’s beds. Super cute! Instagram-able. There’s some rare and nostalgic cereal on offer. For some people these might spark up some warm, fuzzy memories. For the rest of us, well, it’s all a bit meh. As a UK alien, everything is pretty much new to me, so it at least as some sense of appeal.
You could say – after one visit, there’s zero chance I’ll be a cereal offender.